Outcast
by Fleur de Givre
Summary: They tried "talk no jutsu", they tried "love no jutsu"... But, sometimes, there's just too much and reconciliation is out of reach. Obito/Kakashi, I suppose. As always, this is a sad story.


_Hi there. Yes, for this new year, I bring you an offering of sadness and depressing thoughts. You're very welcome =D. _

Outcast.

The whirlwind of colours, shapes and worlds stops as quickly as it started. Suddenly, they are alone, in a place Kakashi knows too well. He wouldn't be daring enough to call it home, though. No, not even with Obito Uchiha in front of him. This is a prison, he's smart enough to understand what his former partner is planning. Obito is going to talk, and Kakashi will have no choice but to listen. It's strangely comforting, the both of them realising Kakashi is now the only one who would actually hear what Obito has to say – who would have guessed? They're not kids anymore.

But, still, it's something to have your one and only childhood friend smirking casually a few meters away from you – especially when this very friend was supposed to be dead. When did Obito start smirking, anyway? The war is behind them, like a secret left untold, and the sight of his friend is quickly growing on Kakashi, making him sentimental. He closes the distance, and seconds later, his arms are around Obito's neck and back. This is so surreal.

"I've missed you." he whispers, his voice crackling. Obito sniggers but doesn't move, hands in mid-air, hesitating between pulling Kakashi closer or pushing him away. He doesn't make a choice. He remains silent, waiting for Kakashi to let go of him. Obito doesn't care if the other man is expecting an answer. This may be a bit too surreal, indeed.

Eventually, Kakashi backs off, and Obito catches a glimpse of his hands, shivering ever-so-lightly. He breathes in deeply.

"We have a lot of things to discuss, my friend, and hopefully, enough time _here_ to do so." he says, not so self-assured behind his cold mask of indifference. Obito doesn't know where to begin, though, and Kakashi's look has hardened.

"Sure we do. But I'll be brief: stop this madness or I'll kill you, Obito."

The Uchiha seems surprised, at first – heck, one second he's cuddling you, the next he wants to kill you! – but quickly bursts into laughter. "I said _talk_, Kakashi. We can fight later, if you're so eager to do it." Obito sniggers – for the second time, Kakashi notes to himself – and then sits down, cross-legged, on one of this universe's typical grey stone blocks. "You should know I do this for everyone. And you're making me a criminal... because I want this world of death and despair to be gone? Why won't you listen, for once?"

Kakashi grits his teeth, but says nothing, allowing Obito to go on.

"Look where this world's led us – all of us. Heroes die in dishonour, vultures and cowards rule our villages and our lives, and if someone strays from the straight and narrow... they are despised. This world keeps stealing from us. Our childhood, our family, our love, our friends, our goals, our future, our dreams, our lives. And we... Why should we be so compliant? Why should we not decide for ourselves? I want to get back what was stolen from me. I want to get back what was stolen from everyone. This world is a monster, and I want to shut its fucking mouth that keeps eating, eating, eating..."

Kakashi feels his chest and throat tighten painfully. These words hurt. For a moment, he sees behind the craggy face, the hateful eyes. He sees the young Obito, curled up into a ball, hopes and dreams scaterred at his feet like broken shards of glass. Kakashi wants to take the boy in his arms, to tell him it's gonna be okay and other warm and useless things like that. But he knows he's too late, way too late to do so. That big monster of a world has eaten Obito, and the man he sees today is probably only what the world threw up. This is the reason why Kakashi can't listen to him, can't trust him.

"I'm afraid of what it will devour next. I want you to come with me, Kakashi. You can't die."

Kakashi's eyes widened. So much for _not listening_. Obito is cruelly hitting his soft spot, and Kakashi knows he shouldn't even care about it but it's harder than he thought.

"What you've become, I don't accept it. It pains me. I want my friend back, you... You're broken, too. I know your heart is only filled with regrets and sorrow, and if you're not strong enough to believe this can change, I'll do it for you. I can do it for everyone." Obito jumps from the stone and it's his turn now to close the distance between them. With his real hand, he reaches for Kakashi's chest, silghtly pressing where his heart is beating way too fast. "You can't fool me, I know what you have wished for, for so many years."

Their eyes meet and lock on. It's like being on the edge of a cliff, and it never looked so easy to just let go and dive into dark and unknown waters. What he sees in the depths of Obito's gaze is mesmerizing, kaleidoscopic reflections of everything he ever desired, swirling like creeping vine meant to retain him. It takes Kakashi a considerable amount of strength to look away, tears raging just behind the frontier of his eyelids.

"You don't know what you're talking about. This is not how it works, Obito. I'm sorry... I'm sorry you were not built to live in this world. I'm sorry you had to deal with the consequences." And he means that. Obito's mind is too fragile, and it's unfair that he had to live his life as a shinobi because he wasn't ready – never will be – to see death. He hears Obito snigger next to him.

"As if I needed your sympathy... Enough with the past tense, Kakashi. I may be dead inside, but I'm not finished with this world yet."

Eventually, Kakashi is able to face Obito again. "Come on, you know it's over. We could just, I don't know, go back to Konoha. I can help you. Just... give up. I will help you. I promise."

"Don't wanna kill me anymore? Appreciated. But tell me, why should I believe what comes out of your mouth? Last time I checked it wasn't so hard for you to break a promise." Obito snaps at him. Kakashi starts growling, but the other man ignores it. "Look, people are dying outside. There's no need for that. I think you can understand what I want to do, you just need to take my hand."

Obito holds out his hand, while the ghost of a smile lingers on his chapped lips. It's not an arrogant smile, it's genuine and summons a tidal wave of memories. Kakashi shakes his head. "No. Obito, I'm sorry."

The hand falls back to its place, along Obito's side. For several minutes, the only sounds that can be heard are their heavy breaths.

"You said you loved me." Obito states, very calmly. His eyes are darkened with hate and hope, melting into something dangerous. Kakashi is startled, his mind threatening to go blank. "Do you think I was joking when I told you you couldn't fool me? I know you, Kakashi. I saw you, in this graveyard, every fucking day. I listened to the words you were spilling on the grey stone, all the bloody words. I watched you live, locked in the past. I watched you, taking up my old habits as if trying to somehow convoke me. And when it would burn too much, when you would feel restless... That's when you would do it."

While Obito is talking, Kakashi can feel everything. The memories – _his _memories – are unfolding before his eyes, and he knows Obito is seeing them too. He can't ignore what is coming next, and the flames of shame are now lapping at his cheeks. He wishes he could close his eyes, but that is no way of escaping a genjutsu.

"I know what you'd make me do to you in your dreams, Kakashi. It wouldn't even ease the pain, right? It would only scald you more. But maybe that's what you wanted? Punishment?"

Kakashi can't talk. There is nothing to explain, nothing to understand, no deep reason to exhume. It just happened. Obito finally releases him, dark eyes still fixed on him. His smile is victorious, and that's annoying to witness. Holding back the tears and a fierce urge to scream, Kakashi glares at Obito. He's never lost a stare down to the guy before, doesn't want to start now.

"I've changed, Obito. I don't live in the past anymore. That's what we all have to do, sometime. Onward and upward, y'know? You'll have to do it too, otherwise death is the only thing you'll find at the end of this day."

"So I can watch you betray me again? So I can redeem myself and be part of the sacred and ancestral system again? So I can teach children that their only point in life is to bring death when they're told to? I'm not gonna stand back and enjoy the show. Believe it or not, but I never was the kind to hide behind a mask. I've come this far... There's nothing left to say. I will stop this endless circle of blood and death, or die trying."

Kakashi's eyes are shining with sadness, but his mind is already made up. He feels the guilt creeping upon his chest. Obito is like a weed, and his duty is to pull it out. The only thing he can do is to hide himself behind the idea that he's doing it for a cause – but, in the end, they both know the truth.

Obito is going to die because he is an outcast, an idealist, and there's no place for people like him in their world. Kakashi knows that too well, and he's just keeping things that way.


End file.
